Picture this. You’re five kilometres into your morning run. Your legs feel strong, the sun perfectly slices through the cold air, and life is good…until suddenly it isn’t. You slow down, grimace, and the colour drains from your face. Nature is calling, urgently.

You start frantically scanning your surroundings like your life depends on it. Is there a toilet nearby? Why didn’t you plan this route better? You weigh up your options: beg a barista or gamble with a bush. Neither feels optimal. 

Can you even call yourself a real runner if you haven’t faced this exact crisis at least once? To spare you from the panic next time, we’ve compiled a list of some of the most reliable, runner-approved toilets across the city, so you can make a stress-free pit stop when disaster strikes.

Here’s where to sprint when you’d really rather not:

Battersea Park

Arguably the running mecca of central London and home to more fluorescent super shoes than a Nike advert. The Pierpoint toilets (by the zoo) are your best bet. They’re quieter than those by  the Pear Tree Café and close to a water fountain for a quick refill. Dodge the Saturday morning runner traffic and that’s your speed work done for the day!

Bushy Park

If you’re jogging past the herds of deer and the extra shot of espresso you downed pre-run to cure last night’s shenanigans starts to feel like a terrible mistake, don’t stress. The Bushy Playground Toilets are close by. They’re usually empty, conveniently placed near the Parkrun start, and a firm favourite among South West London runners. Ideal for pre-race jitters and mid-run emergencies alike.

London Bridge and Cannon Street

Perfectly positioned for lunchtime miles from City workers sprinting like their bonus depends on it. For river runners, the London Bridge Station toilets are a lifesaver just off the Thames Path. Clean, free, and easy to reach. The queues can get long, but in a desperate moment, you won’t want to risk searching for another option.

A little further along, Cannon Street offers another reliable stop. It’s usually quiet, very clean, and easy to find - just follow the signs downstairs once you enter the station. Consider it London Bridge’s calm, collected counterpart.

One New Change (St. Paul’s)

If you’re running past St Paul’s Cathedral and suddenly feel a sense of urgency, head straight for One New Change. The modern shopping centre is equipped with a spacious toilet and the best part is that Runlimited St Paul’s is only a short jog away. This means your ‘emergency stop’ can conveniently become a browsing session where you convince yourself that buying SUMS socks counts as self-care. You will eventually have to leave and finish your reps like the disciplined runner you pretend to be.

Hyde Park

I can attest that Hyde Park turns into a labyrinth when you’re trying to locate a loo. I’ve been on the verge of tears mid-long run more times than I’d like to admit after my third gel wants to make a rapid exit. Add a dead phone into the mix (so no way to pay the frankly ridiculous 20p public loo fee) and you’ve got a full blown crisis. 

That’s why the Serpentine Bar & Kitchen has become a saviour to me. Glowing in the distance like an iridescent beacon of hope, it’s free, easy to access, and I can pretty much stride straight through to the toilets at the back without slowing down. 

If you can spare the expense, you’ll also find public toilet facilities across the park near the Kensington and Lancaster Gate entrances, as well as by the Lido, so you’ll never have to search too far!

Note: Royal Parks loos close at 4:00pm in the winter, so keep that in mind for both planned and unplanned evening runs (pun absolutely intended).

McDonald’s 

If you can stomach the smell of fries mid-run and dodge the delivery queues, McDonald’s toilets are surprisingly reliable. Especially handy in central London, with locations near Euston, Waterloo and Kensington all popular stops. The biggest perk: most branches stay open late or even 24 hours. So whether it’s an evening run or a frenzied late-night sprint, you’re covered…Big Mac optional.

Victoria Park

A haven for East London runners, thankfully ‘Viccy’ park offers several toilets dotted around, which is a relief because none of the trees provide a decent enough hiding place! The facilities next to the Pavilion Café are the most popular, well-maintained and easy to spot mid-run.

Hampstead Heath 

For runners who want to 'connect with nature’ and tackle some London-style trails, the toilets by Parliament Hill Fields Athletics Track are a dependable place to stop when your stomach starts making its own plans. Add in the skyline view from nearby paths, and you’ve got one of the most scenic pit stops in the city. 

The Nearest Bush or Tree Line: The 'Great Outdoors’

We’re not exactly recommending a dash into the nearest shrubbery, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you ever find yourself eyeing up the foliage, at least carry some toilet paper and make sure you’re fully out of sight from fellow runners.

Ideally, this is a last resort reserved for the middle of nowhere: woods, empty trails, proper countryside and probably not something you should be doing in one of London’s parks. With any luck, you’ll never have to find out.

Whether you’re out chasing a PB, slogging through a long run, or just outside trying to fix your life with endorphins, don’t let the call of nature ruin the moment. Use this guide to track down the best loos before catastrophe unfolds. Keep running, just hopefully not in search of the nearest toilet!